So for the last three weeks of this summer before I go back to school, I’ve been watching 2 kids all day during the week (from 6:45 am to around 4:00 pm). They are a boy, 7, and a girl, 9. They are also my cousins. Not only the hours are long and I am extremely underpaid but I have real difficulties with the boy.
I agreed to the babysitting for my aunt as a favor even though I really don’t care for her son which is also my cousin. I know he has ADD and has to be told directions about seven times before he does them. He cannot help that I guess. But the thing that really gets to me is that every little thing sets him off and he has a major tantrum. We are talking about screaming and whining for hours if he does not get his way. Once, he threw his scooter (which used to be mine btw) just because it got caught on a bump in the driveway and threw a bottle of bubbles because he wasn’t making big bubbles like his sister and I were one afternoon.
I have no idea how to handle him without getting physical because that’s not my job. I would never hurt him but I need to get through to him that acting the way he does is NOT appropriate because his parents don’t. He even acts this way for his parents and I’ve seen it first hand.
He will be going into 1st grade this year and is supposed to be in a normal classroom with normal children. However neither my family or I thinks will last in a normal classroom.
I feel so sorry for his sister and I wonder how she puts up with his crap. I am not a parent but I know that the parents are being strict enough with him.
So that’s one problem, on to the next…
Every day when the mom or dad(who i don’t care for either) comes home they ask me if the kids were good. I always say good which I know I shouldn’t. Its come to the time when I know I should tell the truth but I don’t know I should do it. Whenever I am asked the kids are always right there. I can imagine being told you’re one kid is bad is probably not what you want to hear as a parent but the way things are now I know for sure that if his behavior doesn’t improve I won’t be babysitting this long for them anymore.
I know this was long but I thought I should explain the whole situation.
Any help???
{ 6 comments… read them below or add one }
Level with the kids. When they start to act up, tell them to cut it out, or else you will be telling their dad that they were bad.
When a parent comes home, I would ask to talk to them privately when the kids aren’t right there. Try to put on a movie or something and see if they’ll watch it. Then just sit down with their mom or dad and explain how they’ve been behaving. Just tell them everything you told us and you should be fine.
I would start telling the parents the truth. Then, next time you are asked to babysit, tell them its too emotionally and physically exhausting to watch the boy, and say you will only watch the girl from now on. They will most likely start asking someone else to watch them, and THAT person will tell them the truth too. Eventually they may realize that their son shouldn’t be left with a babysitter until they are confident he can handle himself.
i would suggest pulling the parents to the side when they get home and telling them exactly how the child behaves. when he starts to act up dont let him play with anything for the remainder of the day especially if he is going to throw a tantrum each time. the good news is that summer is almost over and you wont have to deal with it much longer. stay strong!
do the exact same thing a teacher would do. tell the parent exactly what is going on so the parent can straighten the child out and it wont be any more problems out the kids
As a parent, I will tell you that I absolutely want to know if my kid is acting up. How can I correct his behavior if I don’t know it’s bad when I’m not there? Every heard the phrase, “Honesty is the best policy.”? I know this is not politically correct anymore, but the fact is that it is almost always true.
Now, you’re in a difficult place because you’ve been untruthful with them all of this time, so you need to approach this in a very adult manner. Sit them down and tell them that you’ve made a mistake and you now realize that is was a mistake. Tell them that you didn’t feel comfortable telling them when their son misbehaved, but he does. Don’t drag up all of the things he’s done in the past unless they ask. Just tell them that it is an ongoing problem and you feel like they should be aware of it.
Remember that you are a hired gun and it is not your responsibility, so after you tell them you will have the relief of knowing that you have done your part. Whatever they decide to do is not your problem.